I’m in the middle of Bum Fuck Japan

Like many, I thought Japan would be a land of milk and honies.  And it is…if you live in a big city. Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka; those are places that not only have hot women, but also hot women who aren’t afraid to be seen with foreign guys.

But as it turns out, getting into one of those cities isn’t as easy as it seems.

I thought I had it made. With a fresh diploma, I figured I could bang for a year or 3 in Tokyo before joining the rat race back in the states. I just need to hop on one of those teach-English-in-Japan-programs, pack a few bags of condoms and be on my way. Piece of cake, right?

If I wasn’t so damn overconfident, I probably would’ve done more research before applying, accepting a job offer and buying a $1000 one way ticket.  Many people want to teach in Japan. A good number of them are much more qualified than me (hey, did you know you could actually get a certification to teach English?). It’s economics 101: supply and demand. You put good teachers in good (read: urban) schools. And the rest of us get dumped wherever.

Even though I thought I was God’s gift to English, I got placed in rural Japan.

So here I am, teaching farm kids and drinking with old people. I see yama in all directions and more green than a liberal arts college. The population of my city town is about 3 Tokyo city blocks and you can’t find an open ANYTHING after 8:00 pm (one exception: the ever-prevalent Lawson konvini chain).

But fuck it, I’ve been making the most of it. And that’s why I started this blog. Usually when people talk, hear or even think about Japan, it’s usually Tokyo. But the rural life awaits many so you too may end up in Bum Fuck Japan.

But if you’re anything like me, you won’t let an insignificant little thing like location kill your experience.

6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Young Ches said,

    Damnit! This is not what I want to be hearing, dude. I’m heading out to Japan pretty soon and everyone keeps telling me that its like shooting fish a barrel! I’m going to hold off on breaking up with my girlfriend just in case.

  2. 2

    ruraljapan said,

    Definitely keep a GF on retainer if you can. Wherever you’re from, you’ll very likely be going back after experiencing Japan for a while

  3. 3

    Drake Don said,

    I’ll let you in on a surprise – Japanese women are aware of all those pathetic fugly western guys coming to Japan and trying to score with a Japanese woman waaay out of their league. Japanese people are secretly sneering at those 1000s of douchbags coming to Japan and try to survive on English teaching and feeling like kings.

    No woman wants a low-salary, creepy asian fetish-stricken, fugly dude from abroad. Japanese women are not some kind of freshwater know nothings.

    You should go to Indonesia or Birma or something to teach English. I guess there you can easily buy a wife.

    You can buy one in Japan too but that’s way to expensive for a friggin English teacher.

    • 4

      ruraljapan said,

      3 things:

      1. Thanks for visiting my blog 🙂

      2. I’m not looking for a wife and many women here aren’t looking for a husband (future post). But there is still middle ground that can be covered.

      3. As I mentioned in this post, I’m not here for the long run. Why the hell would I care if people sneered at me?

    • 5

      Kei Chan said,

      Not true. I have personally seen some of the MOST asian fetish stricken, fugly dudes from abroad you can imagine – 24 years old with early male pattern baldness, 40 pounds overweight, HORRIBLE B.O., coke bottle glasses….you get the picture, with beautiful Japanese girlfriends.

      I hear this sentence A LOT when I meet foreign guys here:

      “I never had a girlfriend in my life before I came to Japan.”

  4. 6

    Kei Chan said,

    you will learn better japanese than any of your urban counterparts. And when you do, hold it over their fast-paced city heads.


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