It’s a stereotype but one that’s big enough to have surveys about it. But this isn’t a rant about the teeth, it’s a rant about the consistency of them.

They’re always symmetric. No matter how jacked up one side is, the other side usually matches. There are some one-off cases of one-sided lopsidedness, but for those are as rare as a professional, Tokyo-living, perfect English-speaking, submissive, rich Japanese woman throwing everything away for a pimply faced, just outta college otaku.

Even when teeth are so crooked that they spell words, those words end up being palindromes.

We were talking about Full Metal Jacket and the line “I’m going to gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you” came up.

After that, we literally had a 30 minute conversation about whether you could do that in Japan because of their smaller, more-slanted eyes. We covered all aspects from dick size of the fucker to specific region of the fucked.

In the end, we concluded that it’d just be like banging a virgin.

A dildo there. An affair there. And sometimes, if you play your cards right, you may even get your penis touched.

I know younger girls are all the rage but if you take a detour into the land of jukujo, you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

The first instance of tentacle eroticism (aka squid porn) is largely attributed to legendary Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai who created an erotic woodcut of the ukiyo-e (‘pictures of the floating world’) genre around 1820 called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife (aka ‘Pearl Diver and Two Octopuses’) depicting a woman entwined sexually with a pair of octopuses.

Awesome on so many levels.

I had wandered into the gym to take a quick nap but the student came out before I could lie down. Puzzled, I asked what she was doing there. Her response was that she was talking to the teacher. I thought it was odd but didn’t jump immediately to conclusions. It wasn’t until 30 seconds later, when the gym teacher came out and gave an “I’ve been caught” look that I started suspecting something.

So a female student and a male teacher were having a private meeting in a secluded location which deviates from the usual meeting spot and was also held at a time when most other students and teachers would be occupied. Hmmm…

This is speculation and completely unsubstantiated, but still, one can’t help but wonder.

Many of these women got married maybe 1 or 2 years after high school and started having kids not too long after that. This results in a large number of mothers having elementary school-aged kids before they turn 30.

I wouldn’t wish that situation on any of my friends but I’ve come to appreciate it here.

Each morning is like a fashion show. They come dressed-to-impress in decked out vans and wagons. Truth be told, I don’t understand why they go all-out just to drop their kids off at shogakko, but I like to believe it’s because they know I’m looking.

This has happened to me more than a few times now. Fucking Japanese Androgyny

But on the other hand, what could I say? He obviously wanted an affirmation on his girlfriend choice but before I even made a judgement I realized there was no good that could come of any answer.

If I said “no”, I would have just told him, his girlfriend (who was standing there, smiling, waiting to hear a “yes”) and all the other students in the vicinity that I essentially find her–the love of his life and one of my students–ugly.

If I said “yes”, then both he she would content, but theres no telling what warped version of my statement would’ve started circulating the Rural Japan Town News Network.

I was at an impasse; do I shatter his fragile ego or risk having rumors start?

I ended up doing neither. I responded using a bunch of S.A.T. words, laughed as if some joke was told and then changed the subject. They didn’t catch what I said and needless to say, he opted not to ask again.

The Women:

Q: What white lies can’t you avoid telling guys you fancy? (Sample size=527, women)

I love how women primarily lie to keep their current or future marriages in check. Regardless of age (teens to 60+ year olds),  Japanese Women seem the most concerned about maintaining a “good wife” image.

Men are also concerned with their image, but it doesn’t appear to be as big of a deal:

It has gotten so out of hand that the police now have special task forces to combat it.

On one hand, I’m happy it’s not “worse” than groping. Luckily, the scum who opt to molest women on trains limit it to fondling and nothing more sever. In the west, I feel if I heard a story like this on the news that it’d be of rape.

But on the other hand, I can’t help but think that because it’s only fondling, and because the attackers don’t use weapons (as far as I can tell, they just get close to the women), why the fuck aren’t these women kneeing them in the balls, poking their eyes out, stabbing them with pens or just screaming “PERVERT!”? The silence gives these cowards the confidence to continue their perverse activity.

But that also comes from it being a different culture. Women here don’t always feel empowered to defend themselves physically or audibly. It’s a shame but their second class citizen status gives their attackers more free reign to let their hands roam.

Anyway, here’s a clip (with English Captions) of the news piece:

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